Unpredictable Moments
by desertwoman
Summary: Raven, to her surprise, finds out that she might be capable of opening up to one of her teammates after all, when she happens upon Beast Boy in the kitchen in the middle of the night. Neither one can sleep, and both leave the kitchen finally seeing one another in a slightly different light.


Quick Author's Note**  
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**Hi everyone! So, apparently, I lied. I did end up writing another _Teen Titans_ fanfic even though I said I didn't plan to! But I just couldn't get rid of this scene in my mind - it was just tugging at me. So I sat down, finally wrote it out, and decided to share it with y'all.**

**I also just wanted to thank everyone for all your reviews on my last story! And here's a reply:**

**Andrien - Thanks for your helpful feedback! I edited the kiss portion after I published it. And although _Sudden Kiss_ was indeed the first fan-fiction I've ever published, it's definitely not the first story I've ever written, so I wouldn't use that as an excuse for shabby work. Also, yes, Raven wouldn't normally say that first line, but I mentioned in the beginning that I had first started writing a journal entry and it was originally me talking, but ended up somehow being a story from Raven's perspective.**

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Unpredictable Moments

Raven let out an abrupt sigh and turned her head on her pillow, glancing at the digital clock sitting on her Makassar ebony bedside table. 1:15 AM. She sat up and groaned, cursing herself for still being awake after having been in bed for the past three hours. She'd decided to get to bed early that evening, and had had her bedtime tea, read the last quarter of Euripides' "Medea", and turned the light off at half past eleven. It was unusually hot in her room that night, and the screaming thoughts that hindered her from sleep nagged at her, worsening her break of sweat.

She faced the thoughts that threatened her. Nobody truly knew her, it seemed, not even those she deemed closest to her. It wasn't that she didn't want them to know her; of course she did. Was it not a natural tendency for human beings - albeit she was not fully human - to want to be connected with other human beings? To want to be known at least by close friends? She could imagine how relieving that must feel, being able to open up to someone else without any fear or embarrassment. Surely that wasn't impossible.

It was an enviable trait that Starfire had, Raven had to admit. The ability Starfire had to be so outspoken, to speak her mind, and have others see her almost immediately for who she truly was.

Raven shrugged. It suited Starfire. She was such an overly... joyful character. But there were times that Raven felt so excluded from the outside world, even from her own teammates, merely because of the way she was - because of her naturally suspicious and reserved personality. She only kept to herself for fear of losing control of her emotions, for fear of getting hurt. However, there was a part of her that yearned to understand and be understood by her teammates, to connect with them on a different and deeper level. There was no denying that she cared for them; she had grown to perceive and accept them as her family, and yet she couldn't truly be herself around them. She didn't know how. All her thoughts about the world, about people, her interests, everything she read and her love for poetry... There was so much going on inside her mind that a part of her longed to only share with other people. What was her problem? Why couldn't she just be normal, like everyone else? Was it too difficult to just sit down with Robin or Cyborg - or one of the others - and just talk with them?

_This is why they think you're creepy,_ she thought.

She cursed herself for being so insecure.

_Stupid girl, Raven. This is nonsense. Keeping to yourself isn't a bad thing._

She debated for a moment on whether she should lie back down and attempt to fall asleep again, or get up, and then decided that it was no use trying to fall back asleep. The air was too hot in her room. Getting out of bed, she threw her cloak on and levitated out of her room, hoping to take a little walk around the tower to cool off a bit.

The door to the common room slid open, and she walked through. To her surprise, she saw Beast Boy sitting at the table, a house coat thrown over his uniform. His back turned to her.

Her eyebrows shot up. "Beast Boy?"

He turned at the sudden break of silence and faced her. "Oh, Raven. You scared me. Couldn't sleep too, huh?"

She shook her head and walked over to the cabinet to grab a glass of water. She remained silent, not knowing what to say. This was weird, being alone in the common room in the middle of the night with Beast Boy, with only the dimness of the lamp in the corner shedding light on them.

"What's keepin' you up?" he asked her.

She shrugged. "Not much, just couldn't sleep. It's too hot in my room."

He cast a calculating look. "Aw, come on. Tell me why you're really up. It's not like you just decided to enjoy a nice little walk around the tower for no reason."

"I told you. It's too hot in my room," she repeated, turning away to put the glass in the sink.

Beast Boy eyed her for a moment, and then gave up. It was not like she was going to tell him anything, anyway. This was Raven, after all.

"Sure, whatever."

Raven paused, and then turned back around to face him. "I'm still up because I can't turn my mind off. My thoughts are keeping me awake."

He stared at her for a moment, and then broke into a wide grin. She'd actually answered him. Raven rolled her eyes before throwing a small hint of a grin back at him.

"What sort of thoughts?" he asked after a while.

She contemplated for a bit, and then replied slowly. "I don't know. I guess... I was just thinking about how glad I am that I'm on this team."

"Really? You are?"

"...And also that I don't want you guys to think I'm creepy or anything. I just have a lot going on."

He gazed at her, somewhat stunned. "I think that's the most honest you've ever been with me. Wow. Is this the way nighttime Raven is? Scary by day, and cool by night?"

"Don't rub it in. It was hard to do."

"I know. I'm only kidding. I'm glad you're being honest with me, Rae. You know, I don't think you're creepy. I get it - you need to keep your emotions in check to keep your powers under control. It's just the way you are. You don't have to worry about that."

"But that's the thing, though... I've had to learn to control my emotions all my life. If I lose control for even a moment, someone could get hurt or something could go wrong. Which means that all my life I haven't been allowed to feel anything." She let out a quick chuckle. "That's probably one of the reasons I have trust issues."

Sympathy swept across Beast Boy's face. He kept still for a moment, studying her. The honesty that was coming from Raven was so unexpected, and yet so incredible to him. It was so different from the way she normally was, and although he wanted to savor this, it was all happening so fast.

"I've got trust issues, too, Rae. I think most people do. To be honest, you guys are the only people I trust enough to be myself around."

She grinned. "I guess it's that easy for some people. To just be natural around those they trust."

"We love you for the way you are, Raven."

It was her turn to be stunned – at the sudden affection. No one had ever encouraged her that way before, and she wasn't used to it. She felt the red seep through her cheeks, and turned away slightly, clearing her throat.

"So... why are _you_ awake?"

"Oh. It's stupid." He hung his head in his hands.

Raven took the seat across from him. "Let me guess. Judging by the look on your face, I'd say it's... girl problems."

He glanced up at her. "Yeah."

"I can't help you out there. I'm not really good with that sort of thing."

"It's alright. I'm not lookin' for any advice. But it's nice to have someone to talk to about it."

She paused, feeling a slight twinge in her stomach. "Is this about Terra?"

"Yeah," he said quietly. "I know you didn't really like her and everything... but I don't know why she just gave up on me. She was the perfect girl for me; she was the only one that I felt really got me, you know? And the only one that laughed at my jokes." He heaved a long, deep sigh.

"I guess I'm just moping, just feelin' sorry for myself," he continued. "Don't know why these things happen to me. Will I ever get it right? Why is it so hard to find someone who can really get me and like me for it?"

There was a long silence. Raven felt the subject was too touchy for her liking, and truthfully, it freaked her out. And then she randomly thought of something, something she had always wondered about but never bothered to ask. Beast Boy expected no response from her, and figured she probably just didn't know what to say.

"Hey, Beast Boy... Does it hurt to shape-shift?"

He turned abruptly to look at her, confusion playing across his brow. "Why?"

"I'd just always wondered. You don't need to tell me if you're uncomfortable with it."

"Well, it used to... When I shape-shift, the bones in my body stretch, shrink, transform. In the beginning, it used to feel like my bones were breaking all over. I'm used to it now, though. In the heat of battle, I change so constantly that I don't really have time to notice the pain."

Raven cringed a little. "I'm sorry."

He smiled.

"Can you change into an animal you never knew existed after you've only seen it once? Do you have to see it first in order to change into it?"

"Why all the sudden interest?" he asked, sitting back and studying her.

Raven noticed the bright change in his mood at all her questions. She shrugged again. "I don't know. Do I need a reason? I've always wondered before. Don't get too hyped up about it. It doesn't mean I'm interested in you or anything...maybe just in your shape-shifting."

Beast Boy laughed openly, provoking a grin from Raven.

"I can only turn into the animals I know of," he told her. "I can turn into any animal that has ever lived in the past, but I'd have to know them already. Or I'd at least have to see them first and know a bit about them."

"Yeah... that's what I thought, considering that you can change into animals that have been extinct for thousands of years."

He nodded. "And I have to know each animal I turn into pretty well, to be able to use their strengths and abilities in battle."

Raven gazed at him, suddenly seeing him in a new light. When she realized she was merely staring at him, she looked away.

"No one has ever taken such an interest in my shape-shifting before," he said. "Thanks, Rae. Y'know, all these questions make me feel more of like, a really cool superhero. Which I am, of course. But like a celebrity. I wonder if my fans ever wonder about these things too?"

She rolled her eyes again and smacked him across his forehead. He smiled sheepishly at her.

"So... were you wondering about anything else?" he asked.

_Could he survive as only one animal for the rest of his life if he had to? Why is he green? How did he get this way? What about two-headed creatures? Can he mate as one animal with another? What would become of his offspring if he did?_

"No," she finally replied.

"I'm curious about your powers, too," Beast Boy told her. Immediately, that touchy feeling that freaked her out before came back to her. There was too much about her powers to even consider vocalizing or discussing, and she wasn't sure if she could handle it. She knew it wasn't fair to Beast Boy, considering that she had drilled him with her curiosity just moments before, but…

"You are?" she asked.

Beast Boy took in her cautious expression. He held his hands up. "Alright, you don't wanna talk about it. That's totally cool. But I hope that sometime soon you'd be up for answering some of my questions, too."

She smiled, more than slightly surprised at him yet again. Evidently, he had a strange way of understanding people.

"Sometime soon, then," she agreed. "Hmm. Wonder what the time is."

He looked around for the clock. "I don't know. Huh. Did you know there's no clock in this room?!"

She glanced over her shoulder. "There's one right behind us, smart ass."

He turned around to look, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. "Oh. Right. It's 2:05."

"Thanks, genius," she said, getting up to leave. "You gonna head back to bed soon?"

"Yeah. I'll walk with you. Thanks for the talk, Rae. You really cheered me up."

She attempted to thank him as well. But before she could open her mouth to say anything, he suddenly pulled her into him, his arms wrapping around her in a hug so tight, she thought it might crush her.

"Beast Boy."

He laughed at the sound of her strained voice, and let go of her. "Sorry. Couldn't help it. It's so ironic that out of all people, you happened to be the one cheering me up. You, who's all dark and broody and–"

"Let it go, Beast Boy, before I _show_ you dark and broody."

"Well, you know what I mean. Shall we go?"

Raven cast one last grin at him in agreement, and they both set off back to their rooms, the door to the common room swishing closed behind them.


End file.
